No more tears!

Yep, that's me. All ready to graduate (and boy, was I ready!) in 1978. The photographer, Lynn Glenewinkel, was well known not only in my hometown, but beyond. I loved the result.

But not everyone loves their senior photos. Recently, I saw a group of TikTok posts from young women crying while reviewing their proofs from the photographer. It made me sad that these bright, beautiful grads were not pleased with the photos -- which were all lovely, by the way.

I can relate. In my early 30s, I bought a package deal with a well-known national photography studio chain (yes, that one). My first session, with my sister, is still one of my favorite photos of the two of us. For my second session, I chose a suit and went for a professional look.

When I returned to view the proofs, I was shocked. I don't remember what it was -- my nose? the color of the suit? -- but I was so upset that I left the studio in tears and never returned for the third session.

Here's the thing -- the pictures were probably not bad at all. I was nitpicking about my looks, and ignoring all the things I like about my face -- my smile, my eyes. Instead, like the girls in the TikTok videos, I chose to focus on a nose that I thought was too wide, or cheeks that showed I gained some weight.

None of us look like people we see in magazines or on TV. I'm happy that advertisers are more inclusive these days, but models are always going to conform to a certain standard of photogenic. That's why they are models.

Professional photographers can unwittingly be part of the problem. I look at websites and Instagram posts from photographers from all over the country, and the clients are universally stunning. Obviously, a pretty face helps sell the photo, and we all want to put our best work out there. It's a competitive business. But expecting a photographer to change the shape of a face or make you look much thinner is just unrealistic.

As a photographer, I always try to make clients look their best, and I want them to be pleased with how they look. I do light retouching on almost everyone, but I long ago gave up trying to eliminate double chins or every wrinkle. After all, the things that we focus on in ourselves could be what others cherish, what makes us unique.